I am radically pro-life.
And let me begin by saying I live it. I have a child with special needs. I was a teenage mom. No, I have never gotten pregnant as a result of being raped but my walk of parenting has not been easy or simple or “lucky”.
Let me follow that by saying there are those (in my experience, these are mostly liberal Christians) who seem to imply people have no right to be pro-life unless they are spending their lives caring for orphans, those in the foster care system, and every stage between the cradle and the grave. I totally disagree with that premise.
However, since that is a drum that will continue to be beaten, I will address the point. Last week I searched for an organization committed to keeping first families together to support ministry strategies that align with my world view, fed teenage girls in the foster care system, and spent hours caring for aging parents.
Many years ago I created an organization that has since completed over 2 million dollars worth of service to help all kinds of people in all kinds of overwhelming situations. Included in the list of projects was a kids play area for a homeless lunch program, work on a teen treatment house, help for a crisis pregnancy center and countless deeds for families in need. The implication that most passionately pro-life people are judgmental hypocrites who simply point fingers is generally untrue, and one I specifically reject when lobbed my way.
Other people’s opinions about my pro-life opinions are relatively unimportant to me.
But I am tired of the same old conversations, so I am going to pipe in.
WORDS MATTER. For the progressive Christians pleading their case, I would first encourage them to look up the word nuanced. It is a favorite among those looking to create a narrative that allows for a Christ believer to defend abortion. Somehow, if the lines of right and wrong get blurry, multiple choices become morally defensible. If the shades can be subtle, there is room for individual people to make individual choices, without ethical consequences.
100% of successful abortions end up with a dead baby. There is absolutely nothing nuanced about it. It is as clear a line as is possible—one one side there is life, on the other side there is death. There is no shade of grey in the final outcome.
If the conversations to make appointments at women’s health clinics went like this: “Okay, Ms. Roe, we have you scheduled Wednesday at 11 am to kill your baby. Please don’t eat for at least 12 hours prior,” there would be absolute outrage. However, the conversation would be completely, factually correct.
The people promoting a “nuanced” view of the situation are denying a cold, hard,
However, lost in this conversation is the big-ness of God. HE is bigger than abortions and the circumstances that make women feel the need for abortion. He can wash hearts and minds that have already traveled that road and infuse grace into regret. No matter how terrible any story that leads to a clinic is, God’s love is bigger. His ability to redeem is immeasurable. NO MATTER HOW DRASTIC THE STORY IS, God is drastically more powerful and
Life can be so incredibly difficult sometimes. This pain is not lost on those of us who are pro-life…we live our own pain. We have our own anguish that at times overwhelms our lives, so while we may not know exactly what women are going through when they choose abortions, we can come to the table with a deep understanding of disappointments and the feeling of overwhelmed-ness.
We need to stop having screaming matches about fire and brimstone and instead carry signs that simply say, “How can I help you make a different choice?” We know struggle, and we know there is a tomorrow. We weep for the fact that abortion takes away tomorrows.
That does not make us evil or the enemy of women.
Women seeking abortions are very clearly saying they do not want to/feel capable of being responsible for a baby. Laws outlawing abortion after 6 weeks gestation, “heartbeat” laws, are stating very clearly that women must be responsible for the baby from that moment forward.
Yes, they can choose to place the baby up for adoption. (PLEASE do. It’s an incredible gift.) However, no matter what comes next, from 6 weeks to birth the mother is required to be responsible for the baby.
But the mother did not make the baby all by herself.
The heartbeat laws that are being passed, in my opinion, do not go far enough.
If the woman must be responsible for the baby, the man should, too. The mother houses a baby with her body, and the father should be responsible for helping to house the mother. And feed her.
Overturning Roe v. Wade is not my hill to die on. I am far more concerned with eliminating the need for abortions than I am access to abortions.
If we want to succeed at eliminating unwanted pregnancies we must face the fact that the burden is currently overwhelmingly directed at the mothers. Fathers need to step up to the plate and fulfill obligations and responsibilities. For every law passed that outlaws abortions from 6 weeks on there should also be requirements for financial support from the biological fathers from 6 weeks gestation on.
There could easily be consequences both for false accusations and denying paternity, but let’s begin the conversation that says a woman is pregnant because a man was involved in the process. It is a biological necessity.
The responsibility should be equally shared. These decisions and laws have moral consequences, and those consequences can certainly help to drive future behavior.
The moral compass of a society is often reflected in how it treats its children. Abortion is a stain on the fabric of our society, but to stop making it worse we must face the fact that we are lopsided in doling out responsibility.
Fathers matter. They should also be hel responsible. I posit we would start to see a real shift in numbers and need, were that to happen.